We're back after a long labor Day weekend, and while I realize many of you are hard at work catching up after a day off, I'd ask you to check out this story, and take a moment to thank Peter M. Todd of Indiana University for finally - FINALLY - breaking into the vault of the human male mind. It turns out, fellas, that we in fact are attracted to...wait for it...attractive women!
Your mind just exploded.
Here are the actual story highlights, courtesy of CNN.com:
- Dating study: Men base their decisions mostly on physical attractiveness
- Men are much less choosy than women
- Women are aware of the importance of their own attractiveness to men
Holy shit.
Let's break down Dr. Todd's (I assume he's a doctor; something this brilliant must have come from an extremely educated mind) findings:
1. Men base their decisions mostly on physical attractiveness
I often wondered why I find myself more interested in Jessica Alba than Estelle Getty. I thought perhaps it was because Alba had a kinder heart, or perhaps because I found Estelle Getty's character in The Golden Girls to be overly bitchy - something like that. But it turns out that I like Alba more because she's hotter. Who knew?
 
Look closely: Alba is more attractive, and that's why you want to have sex with her. And not Estelle Getty. Lesson learned.
2. Men are much less choosy than women
Another shock discovery. It turns out that men are attracted to any woman who surpasses a certain attractiveness level. I don't know how he figured this out. It must have taken years of intense research and study. It probably wouldn't have been just as obvious by going into any bar or club at about 1 am and watching who hooks up with who. That's not the Peter Todd method.
3. Women are aware of the importance of their own attractiveness to men
And finally, it seems that scientists have determined that women are aware - yes, aware - that they should try to look hot. To get male attention. This must explain at least partially why women sometimes wear shirts that partially expose their breasts - I believe Dr. Todd calls this "cleavage".
 This just in: men like these and women are aware of that. With this landmark study in mind, I've got a lot of ideas for some new research: - Humans that consume more food seem to be "fatter" than humans that consume less.
- So-called "ice" appears to be nothing more than regular water, only frozen.
- Adding water to dirt can in many cases create a substance known as "mud".
- Humans can eliminate the feeling of thirst by consuming liquid.
I expect my funding from Indiana University to be coming shortly. If you have any other great study ideas, please add them in the comments. Labels: cleavage, ludicrous waste of funding, men like hot chicks |
I always wondered why I liked hot women. It's science.